When I was first asked to write this piece about donor sperm insemination and to discuss whether or not inseminations should be done at home or at a medical clinic, my initial reaction was “definitely at a medical clinic” for the best possible legal protection.

The schoolyard saying goes, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage” - but we live in a society where that progression is largely outdated. Some singles and couples choose to start their families without considering marriage, while others wonder if children are even part of their future plan. But for Stef, she knew a year or so before she and her wife, Denise, got married.

Looking for an LGBTQ-friendly doctor can feel like a daunting part of the gay family-building process. Between choosing a path to parenthood, your egg/sperm donor choice, and any additional agency that you may need, we know that the choices involved in LGBTQ family building can seem overwhelming.

In our last LGBTQ History Month blog, we reviewed the history of LGBTQ family building, and what’s led us to where we are now. Here’s more on where we’re at in 2019:

There can be many challenges that single moms or female couples face while they’re trying to conceive. On top of your day to day work and home life, additional appointments and questions about insurance may seem stressful as you try to build your family.

Nicholas and Paul met in New York by chance. Two days later – on their first “official” date – they talked about having children. Nicholas always wanted to be a dad. As an adult, he figured surrogacy would be the easiest way. Paul preferred starting as a foster parent, then adopting, because that would take a child out of the often-cumbersome state care system as early as possible.

Read on to learn more about the path to biological fatherhood with Gay Parents to Be and RMA of Connecticut.

The NY Times published an article recently about the lack of fertility benefits available to same-sex couples, or single women, who do not have a diagnosis of infertility (i.e., endometriosis or premature ovarian failure) but instead require fertility treatment because they lack the necessary body parts to make a baby. The article specifically addressed the needs of lesbian couples who must use donor sperm to conceive a child and need a doctor to perform Intra-Uterine Inseminations (IUI’s) but I think the question is also applicable to single wannabe parents and gay men.

The decision to create a family via surrogacy is a deeply personal one and (understandably) often fraught with emotion. For most intended parents, setting out on the amazing journey to parenthood is one of the most loving, life-affirming and life-changing steps they’ll ever take. To add to the gravity of the decision, it is one that will involve doctors, attorneys, psychologists, insurance companies, legal contracts and court documents. Add to that complexity the fact that surrogacy and parental establishment laws vary dramatically, from state to state and from country to country. Because LGBTQ intended parents (IPs) face even more considerations and potential hurdles in ensuring their families are legally protected, it is even more important that intended parents have the counsel of an attorney experienced in surrogacy law.

This month, we introduce a new series of interviews: Personal Family Building Stories. We’ll talk with couples who have completed their family building journey as patients of Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT), the IVF fertility clinic with whom GayParentsToBe partners with.

I’m a member of a Facebook group focusing on parenting by gay, bisexual and trans men. Diversity is one of the group’s greatest strengths, and on any given day you’ll find posts from dads who adopted (domestically, internationally and through foster care), are parenting children from former heterosexual relationships, are co-parenting, or have built their family through surrogacy.

The New Year is in full swing and it’s safe to say that by this point two things are clear to LGBTQ parents: First, getting your kids up and ready for school is not easy when it’s still dark at wake up time. And if you live in the Northeast like us, add snow boots and long johns to the mix!